Not my best…
(Something I wrote for english using our vocab words. It was written in a rush…)
INT. OUTSIDE OF PRINCIPAL SIREN’S OFFICE – DAY
Mr. Gully, a young skinny theatre teacher knocks on the door of his boss, Principal Bino. He holds a mini briefcase with him decorated with stickers of famous Broadway plays. He is nervous and messes with his tie while waiting for Bino to invite him in.
INT. OUTSIDE OF PRINCIPAL SIREN’S OFFICE – DAY
PRINCIPAL BINO: Come in.
Principal Bino is an old lump of a man. He is bald with only a mustache to cover most of his face. He is overweight and sits on a chair two sizes too small for his rear end.
MR. GULLY (walks in): Principal Bino, hello-
PRINCIPAL SIREN: Oh please, call me, Al.
MR. GULLY: Hello, Al.
Shake hands.
PRINCIPAL BINO (nods): Seth. What can I do for you?
Mr. Gully takes a seat.
MR. GULLY: I don’t mean to burden you but I came here to tell you my idea for the fall play and get your approval.
PRINCIPAL BINO: You know, I did a play once in high school.
MR. GULLY: Really now.
PRINCIPAL BINO: Yes, I played Captain #4 in my school’s production of Titanic the Musical.
MR. GULLY: How wonderful.
PRINCIPAL BINO: Yes well, the school board didn’t seem to think so… Anyhow, tell me about the play you’ve chosen.
MR. GULLY: Well Al, I know our school has done the same play for years but I thought it would be nice to see our school to do a modern day version of William Shakespeare’s tragedy, Romeo and Juliet. I wrote it myself and I can get the drama club to pay for all the props if you’d like.
Principal Bino reaches into his desk and unwraps a Twinkie.
PRINCIPAL BINO: Never heard of it.
MR. GULLY: Really? You never read it in school? It’s the greatest drama ever to be performed- Why the most beautiful sonnet ever written was from that play. Perhaps this should jog your memory. (clears throat) “But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun-
PRINCIPAL BINO: Ah yes, Romeo and Juliet… wasn’t that a movie?
(Stuffs the Twinkie into his mouth)
MR. GULLY: Yes, it was turned into a movie quite a few times.
PRINCIPAL BINO (chews with his mouth open): Oh yeah, didn’t that have J. Lo in it or something?
MR. GULLY: No, sir… it didn’t.
PRINCIPAL BINO (licks his fingers): Well Seth, do you have a screenplay written out for me or do I have to imagine it?
MR. GULLY: I think you mean a script.
PRINCIPAL BINO: A what?
MR. GULLY: A script is for plays and a screenplay is for movies-
PRINCIPAL BINO: I think I know what a screenplay is.
Mr. Gully hands him the script.
MR. GULLY: I wrote all the stage directions on a separate page because there are so many of them, especially in the fight scenes.
Bino reads over the script.
If you want, we can cut out the soliloquy on page five. I’m not sure if any of the kids will be able to remember all those lines. Oh and I was thinking of putting Mercutio’s character aside in one scene-
Principal Bino throws the script on the desk.
PRINCIPAL BINO: Why is it written all weird?
MR. GULLY: Well I kept the words modern but I decided to honor Mr. Shakespeare and keep the play written like his original work. I wrote it with five acts, using meters, irony, couplets, iambs, iambic pentameters, blank verses, archaic words-
PRINCIAPAL BINO: I don’t like all this French talk. How on earth is anyone going to understand any of this if it don’t make no sense?
MR. GULLY: I assure you Al, it’s not French, its basic literary terms for poetry.
PRINCIPAL BINO: Isn’t poetry supposed to rhyme?
MR. GULLY: No not all. Some of the best poetry to date was unrhymed.
PRINCIPAL BINO: What are you some English wizard?
MR. GULLY: Well I did major in English but I did study thea-
PRINCIPAL BINO: Yeah, well I have a Ph.D in kicking your ass. Get out of my office Gully and take your nonsense play with you.
Mr. Gully collects his script.
MR. GULLY (mutters): Guess we’ll just have to do Mamma Mia again.
PRINCIPAL BINO: Mamma Mia! Now that’s poetry.
THE END
